Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Halloween 2013

This year for Halloween, we had a little kitty cat and a puppy dog at our house.  And oh my, they were so cute with their furry tails and ears.  This year, it rained and poured and the wind was CRAZY on Halloween.  We decided to hit up Opry Mills Mall to trick or treat and then we went by the church to trunk or treat.  Selah is definitely getting the hang of gathering candy.  Sterling would just stick out his hand from the stroller demanding candy with grunts and groans.  Bless his heart.  He'll get there ;)


And.. Mommy was a speed bump for Halloween and Daddy was a construction man.

iphone pic

iphone pic


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

our wilderness years

First off, let me explain that this post is to help update those family and friends that are keeping track of our journey back to Texas these past few months.  Trying to relay all the details to each individual person has become very taxing on me.. since the news has been more negative than good.  Bare with me, this is an honest post written by an orange roll eating pregnant woman who is sitting in an empty apartment in a lawn chair at 4am.  So with that being said... let me explain why you must be confused at this point.

It's Tuesday morning, roughly 4am, and I am sitting here in a lawn chair in the middle of an empty apartment somewhere on the south side of Nashville.  When God told us, back in August, that he would be moving us back to Texas to be with our family and with a GREAT company on our side to make it possible, we were beyond thrilled.  The dreaming of Christmas morning at our house then lunch at my parents and then zip on over to my in-laws to hand deliver presents instead of always having to pick a body part to sell over to science just so that I can get Christmas to my family via UPS... it was all overwhelming and blissful at the same time.  We prayed, we made a game plan, and mustered up enough courage to begin.  The middle of August, we put our house on the market.  48 hours later we had two offers on our home.  Going good so far.  Now, we must find a house in Texas.  As we drove down to Texas, hopeful that God had something there for us, we had no idea what was to come.

As we spent several days searching for homes, we found one that really felt like "the one".  Now, to some of you, "the one" might be your choice because it is perfect, your dream house, or something you just can't live without.  None of those options were what did it for us.  It was a short sale home with cosmetic issues that had crunchy grass in the front yard.  It needs some love, y'all.  But the minute we saw it, God told us.  I can't explain it, but we looked at each other and knew for some wild reason, that this was the house God wanted for our family.   I couldn't even really explain the why to my Mom as I recapped our day to her.  It was just a solid in my mind.  God had this in his plan.  As the days unfolded in Texas with putting in an offer on this short sale home, the details started to look a little off.

9 weeks?  What do you mean?  We wouldn't possibly be able to get into the house for 9 weeks?  We need a house, like yesterday!  I'm slowly making my way to the third trimester of my pregnancy and we need to be settled.  God where are you?

That weekend and the decision we felt we were blindly making, was really completely guided by God.  In the midst of our home search in Texas, the offer on our home in Tennessee fell completely apart.  Panic set in.  The back-up offer that wasn't as good and we were losing a lot of money with the deal came in to effect.  Ok God, we get why 9 weeks may be a part of your plan now.  It's painful but we get it.

As grueling home inspection negotiations proceeded, we still felt hopeful.  God, you've got this, right?

For several weeks we crawled past home inspections on our home in Tennessee and started them for our home in Texas.  So far so good.  And then, the government shut down.

For some, the government shutdown did not effect you personally.  For us, we were greatly impacted.  The sale of our home in Texas was completely put on hold due to the type of Federal loan we were getting.  For two and a half weeks, we sat.  Watching, waiting, packing & praying.  We were at risk for losing hundreds of dollars on a house that may never be ours.

In the midst of that chaos, God was still working.  In order for Andrew to start working with his new company, he would have to leave me here with the kids and go to Texas and live with my parents while getting settled.  We trusted that God would take care of us even in our separation and house details.  Andrew then one day gets a phone call that his company has landed a job in Nashville, and would like for him to work here for about 9 - 12 weeks on a job.  See a pattern yet?

At this point, mid-september, we were told that our closing date on our home in Tennessee would be October 15th.. then it changed to October 24th.  Our new closing date for our short sale home in Texas would be November 26th due to the shut down.  That's a month in between.  God, where are we going to live?  Yet, I am still packing for what feels like the end of the world as we know it.  October 1st is here and we are trying to figure out 1) where we are going to live and 2) where are we going to put our things?

As we talked and prayed over the details, we were offered an empty apartment at Andrew's job site. Free of charge.  Rent, electricity, water.. taken care of.  Now, where are we going to put our things?  We found a company that would come and load all of our boxes and furniture, store it for a month, and then come unload it for us in Texas when we needed it.  All for the price Andrew's company had graciously extended to us to help move us to Texas.  With those details in place, all we needed to do was pack, pack & pack.  I spent days and weeks going through closets and drawers, thoughtful packing our suitcases for a month of not being in a home of our own.  As our closing date of October 24th started creeping up on us, trouble began to hit.

For some reason, our home owners did not do an appraisal until a week before closing.  The appraiser came and found a window (a large solid two pane tempered glass window) that he felt wasn't cosmetically appealing, and told us that we can't close on our home until we have had it replaced.  He wasn't budging, the lender wasn't budging, and we had to find a solution.  After several days of scrambling to try and make this work, we were told that we should order the window and that we could possibly give a receipt showing that we have paid for it, and then close on our home October 24th.  The appraiser, our realtor, his secretary, and window guy all told us that this shouldn't be a problem.  The movers were scheduled to come on Sunday, October 20th to take our belongings to Texas.  We KILLED ourselves to get all of our things ready for them.  When they arrived, the men took one look at the price they had bid us, our stuff, and told us that we were looking at having to pay a little more than double what they had originally quoted us.  Panic set in again.  We had no choice, we had to get our things out so we could close on our home.  After several hours, they were done and we watched everything we own leave in a semi-trailer headed for Texas.

We brought our suitcases, pac n plays, a few dishes, a couple of lawn chairs, and a tv to our make shift apartment home on the south side of Nashville.  As we bounced and rolled every which way on the air mattress that night, I felt like I was finally seeing the end to at least a part of the madness we had been dealing with the past few months.  Then Monday morning hit.

Yesterday was a bad day.  Mentally, emotionally, & physically.  I was tired of dealing with crazy toddlers and contractions.  Around 9am I get a phone call from our realtor's secretary.  Bad news.  We can't close on our home until we have ordered the window, have had it delivered, installed, and inspected by the appraiser - again.  Wanna guess what the minimum amount of time this can take?  2-3 weeks.

We spent the majority of yesterday trying to figure out what to do.  And the conclusion, there is nothing we can do.  At the end of the day, we are going to have to make another mortgage payment on an empty house.  We are living in a make-shift home when all of our things were paid to have sit in Texas for no reason at all.  There is only so much money and energy you can give to make something possible.  And I am drained.   So here we are, no closing date in sight for our home in Tennessee and a countdown has begun for our home in Texas.

All the while, in the midst of the anger I felt boiling my blood at the lender and appraiser here in Tennessee, I questioned God.  Where in the world are you?  Do you not see us down here trying to follow you around like loons while we are on the biggest wild goose chase of our life?  How are we going to pay for all of this?  Why are you stripping everything away from us like this?

And that's just it.  We are stripped of everything at this point.  Our belongings, our sanity, our sense of community.  Gone.  But all the while, I can't help but look back at everything I have typed out and know without a shadow of a doubt that God is good.  He has a plan.  I don't have any earthly idea what his plan is at this point, but I know that he is still working.  I cried and cried yesterday and he fed my panic with his word.  His word that I have ingrained in my heart so that on days of trouble, where my mind and heart fail me, truth steps in.  What was the point of me going through all of this?  Turning down photo jobs and giving away work.  Not doing a birthday party for Selah Grace because we were supposed to be moving.  Packing all of our belongings when I could have had my babies sleep in their beds for another month instead of on a hard pac n play.

As I sat, mad at this whole situation, I couldn't help but think of all of the stories that Andrew shared with me when he came home from Africa just a short time ago.  People that are so broken and without any thing of value in their life.  They depend on God.  He gives them what they need to get through the day.  My heart and mind struggled as I sank down into our air mattress for the night.  First world problems and fleshly desires overwhelming me.  God is obviously trying to set me down and teach me something.  Guess I'm just going to be quiet and listen.

"The LORD will fight for you, you need only be still." Exodus 14:14

Where is God in my mess?  He is right here.  Beside me.  Watching me cry and beat my head against a wall over finances, having to cook dinner with the little that I brought from our home, and over an air mattress.  But we are blessed.  He tells me I am and I will chose to believe him.  Not sure what the next month will look like for us, but please join us in praying.  This sweet tot inside of me is due to make his arrival in just a few weeks and I have nothing prepared.

These past few years have been named "our wilderness years".  A lonely and sometimes painful journey, but we are hoping for the promise land on the other side.  I can tell you this though, I will never ever ever be able to sit back and watch a family go through something like this and not have compassion and lend a helping hand for someone else after going through what we are going through.  I will not wait for that tired young mom who is trying to hold it together to come to me and ask for help.  God has shown me how I can make a difference in the future with this and I look forward to the day that I can cook a meal and drop it off on a door step, send a gift card, or call and leave a prayer on a voicemail or through a text.  Each time kindness is shown like this, we see God.  Thank you to those who have helped without even being asked to.  It takes a lot for a Mom to keep it together without having to call a million people trying to gather support.

So glad that I serve a faithful and gracious God.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Chaos

My life is crazy these days.  If you have been watching my statuses on Facebook over the past few weeks, you can tell that I have lost completely control over my children, dog, and - well - basically my entire household.  The boxes, the mess, the poop (I truly do not have the mental capacity to explain that one at this time), and time that marches on as I slowly fall behind... all a bit chaotic.

For those of you that do not know, we are moving to Texas.  Andrew accepted a job near to where our family currently lives and we are super pumped about the free babysitting seeing them more often.  We only have just a few short weeks left here before our closing date on our home in Tennessee.  It has all happened very fast and has been a bit of a bumpy ride so far.  And I feel like I need a sign posted on the door that reads,   "Beware... of well... everything."

I find myself blaring Mandisa's new song "overcomer" over the speakers in the house and shouting it like my life depends on it as I walk in circles wondering what to do next.  My children are going to have some fond memories of their Mom ;).

I couldn't help but chuckle as I ran around this morning trying desperately hard to find clean underwear. As crazy as this moment in time was, I want to remember it.  Except for the whole not being able to find clean underwear thing... that's a little alarming.

This insane time represents the ending of an old chapter and a beginning of a new one.  It's a short moment and will be gone so quickly.  It's like those autumn leaves we desperately wait for all year just to watch them fall a couple of weeks later.

Just to give you some perspective on what my world looked like this morning... here are some pictures I snapped while getting ready. This all took place within a 30 minute time span.

Doesn't this bath tub just want to make you dive in?  Some little booger decided to decorate this morning and rub soap all over the bottom of the bathtub.  I almost killed myself with a big ole slip when I stepped in.  Also, I couldn't find the shampoo while in the shower this morning - notice the bottom right hand side the photo.  Selah decided to hide it under the rug.  Lordy.

I found this spot on my dresser comical.  There is no explanation for this photo other than these are some of the items keeping me sane these days.  Melatonin to help a teething boy sleep and a Better Homes and Gardens magazine for when I need to escape to someone else clean home for a minute.  

This pile has doubled since this morning.  Who has time to fold all this stuff?

The only one enjoying the pillows off of the unmade bed.  I cannot show you a picture of the bed.  It makes me weep. 

Just in time to leave for bible study at church.  She was just get everything out of the drawer so that I can put it into a box...

While I grab her shoes, she begins making a trail to the stairs out of our DVD cases.  So much for ever watching those again.

Can you find Sterling anywhere?  Because I certainly can't.

One last moment to mourn the loss of our "UP" DVD.  Sad day :(

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Potty Training

Potty training these days is super horrific terrible pointless interesting.

Selah Grace is just not getting with the program.  But it's ok though.  I am very understanding that we have a lot of transition going on in our lives at the moment with a new baby coming and her new shared room with a toddler bed.  It's pretty overwhelming to a 2.5 year old.  I haven't been pushing too hard because I just don't want to fight her on it every second of every day.  She is getting closer and closer though.  One sign is that she can't handle being dirty for too long.  Good sign.  Another one, she is trying to avoid attention while popping a squat in public.  Andrew and I have been trying to capture this potty training phenomenon for weeks now.  This is what I like to call Selah's "I swear I am not soiling my britches" miss America walk.  She claps and sings all while sporting a bright red face, a plastered on smile, and waves with a cupped hand ready to accept her award.  All while walking in circles putting on a show.  Graceful until the end.  We have never laughed so hard in all of our life when we had a VIP over at the house and Selah began her parade through the kitchen as we were having a meeting.  100% hilarious.

As we were playing at the indoor area of the mall on Friday, this little diddy was captured.  Enjoy :)

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

His Name!

This is by far the longest it has taken us to decide on a name for any of our babies!  But after much debate, we have decided on a name.

Scout David Wagner

Scout - (French/American/English) To observe, one who has upstanding qualities, an explorer, a seeker of truth. 

David - (Hebrew) Beloved, Friend

From the Hebrew name ×“ָּוִד (Dawid), which was probably derived from Hebrew ×“וד (dwd) meaning "beloved". David was the second and greatest of the kings of Israel, ruling in the 10th century BC. Several stories about him are told in the Old Testament, including his defeat of Goliath, a giant Philistine. Jesus was descended from him.

David is also a part of the names of some great men on both sides of our family.  
Dearest Scout, 
We are giving you a strong name.  It's because I 100% believe that God has great and mighty plans for you.  And you are going to have to be strong to be the third child in our family :). And I can tell that you are already going to be a scout.  Roaming around your home inside of me during all hours of the night and kicking me just when I start to drift off.  You are strong and loved, and I will work everyday to remind you of that.
Can't wait to kiss your sweet and round little face.  I'm excited for what you are going to bring into our family, little scout.  
Love you, Mom

Monday, July 29, 2013

2.5 and 16 months old!

It's hard to see the slow growth in little bodies that you see day in a day out.  Good thing I take so many pictures of those sweet little bodies :).  When I look at my two kiddos through my camera it becomes abundantly apparent how much and how quickly they are changing.  This past week, Selah decided that she wanted to take some pictures.  She received a new dress in the mail from her Honey, so it was perfect timing for some summertime portraits.  Enjoy these simple and sweet photos.













Monday, July 15, 2013

Good Morning Mama

Just a sweet little video of how Selah greeted me yesterday morning.

Mid -July fun!

I cannot complain... this weather so far in July has been a-mazing.  Last week we had one day only get up to 79 degrees.  WHAT??  Yep.  you heard me right.  79 whopping degrees.  Lovely, just lovely.

We have made our rounds the past few weeks to lots of fun things.  The dollar movie, splash pad, 1/2 off sonic ice cream (score!), drive in movies, swimming in our pool, the library (which didn't last long) the zoo, the adventure science center, etc..

We have been going and blowing!  I have had to slow down the past few days though because I (once again) separated my pelvic bone in my pregnancy.  Those hips of mine are very wobbly these days.  Sooo... today we are having a movie day so that I can catch up on some work and rest our legs (and other areas).   Here are some pictures from our recent adventures.

laying listening to a summer rain shower with Mom
Sterling attacked Selah's artwork in the backseat of the car.  What a cute little glitter face :)


Pool night in our backyard :)

summer chores ;)

about to make some yummy oatmeal cookies!

yummo!

July 4th showing of  Despicable Me 2!

July 4th showing of  Despicable Me 2!

we met Daddy for some lunch 

lots of rain showers and rainbows this summer

telling her Dad some secrets 

Sterling & Ginger.. chillin in the sunspots

Our neighbors put on one heck of a fireworks show

Gracie out in her pjs with Andrew watching the fireworks

he's a wildman with sparklers

Brave girl!  Sparklers in her pjs.

lots of smoke on our street once the night was over with.  

chick-fil-a pirate night

about to get trampled in the bounce house

you go girl!

stealthy little sterling man 

love this sweet face!

half-naked super baby 

about to have a super disaster...

lots of head bumping and cheek bruising going on.  Boys are rough.
he doesn't look too thrilled but they had a great time playing at the science adventure center!

science adventure center

splash pad madness!