Monday, July 14, 2008

I am a dreamer...

I have been told many a time... "Oh, Terra... you are just a dreamer."

I am. I am a dreamer.

My personality is big! God made me an intense individual for a reason. I admit it... I am intense! There... you have it! I dream of doing and wanting great things for the future. This sometimes comes with frustration from the other person across the table talking with me. This happens to be Andrew the majority of the time. It's not just that I am a dreamer and want pink flowers and glitter to coat everything I do or want. I will tell you what I want deep in my soul. This is something that the past couple of months I have really had to evaluate. Why do I want these things? Do I want them because I do, or because God has put a deep passion and desire in my heart for these things?

I desire...

  • to be a mother
  • for my voice to speak truth
  • to be free from sin that traps me
  • to make an impact on young women
  • a job when I get out of school
  • a job for Andrew that he is proud to have
  • a place to live that is ours
  • to share Jesus will all nations
  • to teach my children who God is
  • to live a life of purpose
  • to be used by God

I honestly just really want to be used by God. I want to live larger than life. I want to walk with God hand in hand. I do not want to be anywhere that is out of his will. I desire to sing at the top of my lungs about the God who saved me from myself. This summer has been about surrender for me. Surrendering myself to the one who created me. I am now waving the white flag. God, bring the rain. Mold me into the woman that you want me to be. When I smile, I want others to see you. When I serve, I want others to see you. When I sing, I want others to see you. My heart longs for you.

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