Friday, May 28, 2010

My favorite gas station.

Andrew and I live conveniently next to I-40. Convenient meaning that we can just hop on and head into town. Not so convenient when you can hear the hum of the traffic and the "d-d-d-d-d-d" of the semi's when they hit they're engine brakes in the middle of the night.

Now, when you live next to the interstate there are going to be an abundance of gas stations around.

A couple of months ago, on Good Friday, I was heading into work but needed to get some gas... so I pulled into the station nearest the on-ramp of the interstate. Usually, if I am getting gas in the morning that means that I am past empty and I was a major procrastinator the day before. I zipped into the station, got my gas, and then headed into the store to get a small coffee and a blueberry muffin (yum!).

As I approached the counter I noticed that there were two middle-eastern men standing behind the counter whispering and pointing at me. I took notice but kept working my away around the small store searching for the biggest blueberry muffin I could find. Once I had my goodies in tow, I made my way for the counter. One of the men was older than the other and quickly left the counter to go and sit in front of a little television in the back. The man at the counter smiled politely and started ringing up my muffin and coffee.

Once my items were rung up, in the bag, and in my hand... I started to turn around to leave. "Thank you!" the man at the counter said very joyfully. The utter excitement in his voice caught me off guard. "Well, Thank YOU!" I chirped back. His face then lit up as he leaned forward and waved me closer toward him... like he had a secret to tell me. I very reluctantly leaned forward.

He then, with the most excited whisper I have ever heard, asked me if I celebrated Easter. This question also caught me off guard. "Why, yes. I do!" I gathered from the excitement in his voice accompanied with the glimmer in his eye, this man was not talking about multi-colored eggs and a furry rodent that wears a seersucker suit with suspenders.

"You mean to tell me that you believe that Jesus is alive?", he began to raise his voice and his face became serious as waited for my response.

"Yes sir, I do." I stood there studying his face. All of the sudden he bursted into laughter. "ME TOO!!!" He was shouting at this point! I bursted out laughing and then he started shouting, "JESUS IS ALIVE... HE REALLY IS!!!" Then I heard sarcastic laughter coming from the old man sitting in front of the television. Once the young man behind the counter heard the mocking laughter, he whipped his head around and looked at the old man. "What are you going to do? Fire me!! I am your son, but I am also his Son. I will be taken care of!"

I'm pretty sure my jaw was resting on the floor at this point. What faith this young man had! Conviction overwhelmed me as my lack of enthusiasm for this very matter was on the back burner compared to my enthusiasm for this massive muffin I was about to dive into. I thanked the man and then headed out for my car. As I was headed out, I could hear him greeting people as they walked into the store... proclaiming the good news.

This morning was rushed due to my procrastination last night. As I started my car, it began to ding at me. Time to go and get some gas. As I pumped my gas, I leaned my left shoulder up against my car, semi-patiently waiting for my car to gobble up just enough gas to get me to work. Shortly after I began, I felt a little hand patting on my rear end. Shocked, I turned around to see this little girl with big ole brown eyes smiling at me. "Excuse me miss, but do you think I could touch your tummy?" Chuckling, I nodded my head and she lifted up her little hand toward my baby bump.

She was about 5 years old with little blond ringlets. As she rubbed me down, she told me that today was her last day of pre-k and her teacher is pregnant. This teacher told her class that if you rub a tummy that carries a baby it will bring you good luck... And she was needed some luck for kindergarten next year. "I saw you and I thought, oh my goodness I HAVE to rub her tummy!", she said with the cutest little Tennessee accent.

At about this point, her Dad peeks around the other side of the gas pump to see his little girl rubbing down some pregnant stranger. "OH MY! I am so sorry. Here lately she has been chasing down pregnant women everywhere we go to rub their bellies."

I reassured him that it was fine but he just rolled his eyes and seemed very annoyed. On his way to come and pry her off of me, the baby kicked her little hand. The next thing I know she had her face smashed up against me with her little arms pulling me closer. "She is kicking me in the face!!! Oh boy!! I am going to be extra lucky today!" I could not contain my laughter. The harder I laughed, the harder my baby would kick, and the harder I was then being squeezed by this adorable 5 year old. Finally, she let go of me. Looking up at me, she said, "You have a miracle in there!" She smiled and then walked back to her car.

What a way to start off the morning! This gas station is something special. I ought to make this procrastination thing a habit. :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

It's a ____!

Well, ladies and gentlemen. Today has been quite interesting. It all started with my iPhone flat lining last night. Very sad. Thank goodness I keep a lot of my old stuff because I would have been without a phone today if I had not held onto my old phone. And trust me when I say that today was a day that I could not have gone without my phone!!

This morning was normal and simply uneventful. The clock struck 12pm and I was headed out of the office for lunch. I had to go to the bank and then stopped at sonic to grab a small slush... you know, the norm. Then it hit... PAIN!!

It all happened so fast that it is hard to remember every detail. I just remember pulling back up to work at 12:40pm, reaching across the seat to grab my purse, and kicking the door open with my opposite leg. It was like one fluid motion... once my foot hit the ground and as I then swung my body out of the car my legs gave out and this ENORMOUS pain engulfed the right side of my body! Toward the concrete/gravel parking lot my body went.

I work with about 40 women and one man, so I was instantly surrounded by squealing and squawking women. They helped me inside, propped my feet up, and forced me to call Andrew. I really didn't want to because I knew that this is what I would hear on the other line.. "What happened? Did you call the doctor? Do we HAVE to go to the emergency room?" My prediction was right and that was what I heard on the other line. Andrew happened to be on my side of town so he came to pick me up (after I threatened to stab him if he didn't) and we headed out to our hospital. Then I called the doctor. My doctor just happened to not be in the office today but my nurse was.

Sweet Jeannie answered the phone in the thickest southern Tennessee accent you have ever heard... "Terra honey, what's wrong baby?"

When I had my miscarriage, Jeannie called me every on the hour to make sure I was OK. She has a special place in my heart. But hearing that voice accompanied with my pain almost made me break down into tears.

I explained what was going on and she scheduled me an immediate ultrasound. Then it hit me... I was about to meet my baby. When we arrived, the ultrasound tech called me back. The same ultrasound tech that we saw the first time with our first little one.

To make an already long story short... The ultrasound was amazing. The pain subsided and the tech took an hour out of her day to show us our baby. There really are no words to explain the joy that filled that room. There was SO MUCH laughter... just like I always imagined it. Our baby is perfect. Perfect little heart, perfect little brain, 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a wicked smile. Our little mover and shaker smiled at us for a lot of the ultrasound. It was perfect.

So here I am to introduce you to our...


Little feet.

Her profile.

This is right before she flashes us a big smile.

Now she is hiding... she has quite the personality.

Still hiding...

And there's that big smile... How cute is she!!!! She is 11 ounces and SUPER active. I had to roll all over the ultrasound table to get her to cooperate.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Almost half way there!

I have officially hit my growth spurt. I know I am only half way there but I am really having to get used to this hard belly that is now getting big enough to get in the way of important tasks. I have a very short torso, arms, and fingers which are feeling shorter every day.

For example, this morning I had the cutest outfit picked out. The shoes that I had picked out were these little wedges with a buckle that wraps around my ankle. So cute and just perfect for the outfit... truly the cherry on top of the whipped cream (yum!). Anyways, I was fully dressed, hair done, jewelry on, teeth brushed and ready to go. I just needed to put on my shoes. Easy enough, right? WRONG! I wiggled, bent in 1 million different directions trying to reach my short arms to my ankles to buckle my shoes. (In case you were wondering, Andrew was out of town yesterday so he was not present to help me get my cute shoes buckled this morning.) Every time I would bend, not only do I have a basketball sized belly attached to me, but our little stinker would kick me. As if, he/she was saying, "hello... you're squishing me!!"

Ginger was even looking at me like I had lost my ever-lovin mind at the ways I was twisting my body around. Her ears would perk and her head would shift sideways when I would talk to my belly... "Just be patient with me! These shoes are so cute!!" If dogs could laugh... she would have been rolling.

I know what you are thinking. Did I ever get them buckled? Heck yes I did! I laid on the bed, sideways. Then I lifted my legs behind my body up toward my head (thank you Belton High School cheerleading program), reached back and buckled them. I felt like a gold medal Olympian when I accomplished my task. It only took me 15 minutes!

For all of you rolling your eyes at me, be careful.. they might get stuck that way :)

In other news, a week from Friday we are going to the doctor to find out the sex of the baby!

Andrew and I are getting a bit antsy to find out. I am so ready to be able to go and do some shopping and registering for our little one. The baby section in each store I go into is beckoning me. I have been very hesitant to get attached to any specific little girl stuff or little boy stuff because frankly, I just don't want to get my hopes up! No matter what I am having, I feel very blessed just to be having a baby.

So... I thought I would share some of my ideas with you. And remember, these are just some of our ideas. So don't call me freaking out with your opinions, OK?

First for our little boy we were thinking something along the lines of a cowboy nursery. I found some of the cutest baby bedding from the company "Small in the Saddle". I really like the Wild West Cowboy 9PC Crib Set.

We have also thought about doing airplanes since Andrew is in love with airplanes.

For a little girl, I have always loved the shabby chic look and even the clean and classy look with latte colors as well. Basically a combination of these three pictures...

It will be so much easier to finally decide on what we want when we know if we are going to have a girl or boy. I guess I am just going to have to contain my excitement for a little while longer!

Friday, May 7, 2010

May 15th

Today, both of my sweet babies have been on my mind. The one currently using my very full bladder for target practice and the other one who is singing "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty" at the feet of Jesus.

I have not seen either one of my babies and I cannot wait to see their precious faces. I cannot wait to squeeze their little rolls and kiss them all over. May the 15Th was my due date with our first baby. It's crazy to think that that date is only a week away. For that reason, this Mother's Day is a little bittersweet. I am going to be having a baby in October which fills me with so much joy... but I am also a mommy to a baby that is now in Heaven.

I remember Mother's Day last year very clearly. I had no idea that within a year I would have two babies to call my own.

Since Andrew and I have been married and attending our home church here in Tennessee, we have met some incredible couples that we have become dear friends with. Some families have struggled with infertility and some have not. For those that have, Mother's day and Father's day can tend to be more painful than pleasant. Little did I know, that in a few short months I would be pregnant and that Mother's day would never be the same again. Trust me... I had no clue that was coming.
Today my mind has been thinking back over everything that has happened this past year. How did I survive? The answer is simple... only by the Grace of God. There have been lots of doctors visits, old jobs, new jobs, bad news, good news, pounds lost and pounds gained... :)
It is hard to fit all of that in one year and come out a survivor. And I can officially say, "I AM A SURVIVOR!!".

Each of my babies have taught me things about life and about myself. I am only starting this whole "mom" thing, but I am excited to see what happens next. May 15Th will always be a special date to me. I cannot wait to see your face my sweet baby.

Until then, I will just have to wait for May 28Th until we have our ultrasound to find out the gender of the future gymnast inside me.
I did a test to see what our baby could potentially look like and this was the result:

+ =

Monday, May 3, 2010

God will provide.

Here lately I have been battling restless sleep. And this is not a symptom of pregnancy! It is a symptom of letting my brain wonder to thoughts like.. "are we going to make it... will we financially survive this... what if we can't pay our bills... is Andrew's head going to explode if we add any more stress to our little lives?" And the mind churns and churns.

Late at night I lay there. I wait to feel little kicks and squirms inside of me. I listen to hear Andrew's breathing change and wonder what he is dreaming about. My mind shoots off at about 100 mph. Once it starts it is hard to put on the brakes.

Last week this sense of panic flooded my mind as it wondered while I was at work. Day care, diapers, wipes, food, clothing... 4 1/2 more months... oh. my. goodness.

For such a time as this my beloved.

WOW. "God, I know you are all knowing and such.. but really, this is the plan?"

I am sort of a list keeper. Whether it is mental or on an old receipt found down in the dark and dangerous corners of my suitcase purse... a list is a list. My lists are getting a bit overwhelming these days. SO MUCH TO DO AND NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO DO IT WITH.

In those moments where my mind is racing and Satan is convincing me that I am not going to be able to make it... my lists start to look like this.

"God if you just gave me:

$100,000... I would be perfectly fine!"


Even though God could send a check priority mail to me for $100,000, I don't believe that's going to happen any time soon. He will give me what I need when I need it. If that means that he will provide for just that day that I am in need... he will. I have the creator of the universe taking care of my needs. You better believe that my needs WILL be met.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Pslam 16:5-11

This video below is from the blog The City Cradle. I hope this inspires you, I know it inspired me.

Keep your head held high... God will provide.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Flooding in Nashvegas!!

Andrew and I are currently watching a rushing river in our backyard due to all of the rain taking place in Tennessee. There have even been ducks swimming by... that's a bad sign.

Here is video of what it looks like.

Here is a CNN news article (click here to see) showing a video of a building floating down the interstate!!

This is crazy weather!