Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I chuckle.

Oh. My. Goodness.  It is 70 degrees here today and I am LOVING IT!

The past two weeks have been like a whirlwind.. a crazy beautiful one.

This morning I woke up and the sun was shining through my window.  The beginning of spring evokes warm and exciting emotions in me that words just cannot express. As I slithered out of my warm bed, I slowly made my way into Selah's room.  The most amazing light fills her room in the morning and all of the shades of pink look so incredible and make my heart happy.  As I opened her closet, I got a whiff of baby powder which took me back to a couple of weeks ago. 

Let me just start by saying that Selah Grace has now learned how to pick up things, shake them, and throw them...

Word to the wise - do NOT leave an opened bottle of baby powder within your child's reach while changing their diaper.  Within a blink of an eye, she had successfully covered herself from head to toe with that fine white powder.  All I could see were her big blue eyes starting at me through a cloud of white smoke.  I have never laughed so hard in all of my life.

She mimicked my laughter with her little chuckle.  With every chuckle, the baby powder from her cheeks would land conveniently in her mouth.  The minute that baby powder would hit those little taste buds, her chuckle would change into an extremely sour face.  Then I would begin to laugh harder which in turn would make her chuckle harder... and on and on it went.  I thought I was going to die from laughter.  The transparency in her facial expressions reminded me of just how innocent and honest little children are.  What you see is what you get!

I blogged a little while ago that Andrew and I were doing the Daniel Fast.  We were searching for answers from God about several situations in our little life here in Tennessee.  I in particular was so hungry to get back to that transparent and honest place that I share with God.  To become like my daughter... to begin to chuckle again.  And I am happy to report that God did in fact answer my prayer! 

Right after our fast ended, I got a phone call.  It was a friend from church that had some information for me.  It was about a job opening about 1 mile away from my house and also it was part time.  It was PERFECT!  "God, are you answering my prayer??"  I had been waiting so long for this that I began to ignore the tugs at my heart and reassure myself that it was too good to be true. 

Well... to make a long story short, it turns out that this job is what God had for me.  I have more time with my baby at home, and I actually share daylight with the ones I love.  I chuckle, often.

Ya know, when God waits to answer a prayer of ours we become weary.  We become inpatient and worn and torn by our situation enough to question if God is really hearing us.  At the beginning of our fast, I remember weeping in my car - sitting in rush hour traffic - watching the sun come up in the morning and thinking, "God - are you hearing what I am saying?"  I wanted to hear him say - out loud, "I do. I am here.  Trust me - I am working on it.  Remember.. I created you.  I know YOUR heart."

Just when we think that God has forgotten about us, he reminds us that he knows us better than we know ourselves.  This would be my husband's explanation (he's a genius): "You know Terra.. It's like this... God will give in, eventually.  You just have to keep begging.  Take on the form of a gnat... get in his face.  Show him that you are not going to leave his presence until he physically does something about it."  God already knows what we need, but he calls us to be obedient and humble ourselves enough to stop and acknowledge him.

1 John 5:14-15 tells us, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." In the prophet Isaiah's time, the people grumbled that they had fasted, yet God did not answer in the way they wanted (Isaiah 58:3-4). Isaiah responded by proclaiming that the external show of fasting and prayer, without the proper heart attitude, was futile (Isaiah 58:5-9).

Lessons learned:  Never give Selah baby powder, pray without ceasing, continually humble myself, and chuckle as often as possible.

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