"Selah! What did you do?"
"MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAAAAA!"
and the crying contiues...
This is one of the sounds that fill my day. Now that Selah is walking, my days look a lot different than they used to. Many more messes, many more boo-boos, and much much more joy. Selah is a little clumsy. I am going to blame it on her incredibly small feet. She is still wearing size 2 shoes and has a hard time putting her brain and body together without falling. While walking, she tries to curl her toes around the floor beneath her to stabilize herself. All that ends up happening, is that her little busy body get so carried away, that her tiny feet cannot keep up and she goes head first into every single piece of furniture that I have.
Her feet are so small that she has to waddle-walk to keep her balance. Oh my goodness... it is the funniest thing ever! She has this crazy hair, and is constantly squealing with excitement while waddle-walking 90 mph anywhere she goes. I pray that my mind never forgets the joy that I have in the moments of watching her waddle-walk.
When adjusting to being a stay-at-home-mom, you really change many things in your world. Your child becomes your world in all circumstances. They are your ministry, your job, your life.. and you are exhausted by the end of the day. But, even though I am four months pregnant, and chasing a one year old around I can still find the strength to fall asleep smirking at the funny things she does during the day. Knowing that Jesus could have taken her to Heaven to be with her other siblings, I am overwhelmed with joy to think that God said, "Selah Grace, you are going to do some great things in this world", and he let me bring her into this world and experience the best gift ever.
I am reminding myself also that I have to refuel myself each day to be able to pour into my kids. The one of the outside and inside of me. Many days, are laundry days in which we may or may not make it out of our pajamas. It may look boring to some people but to me, I am learning that I am making a difference in my area of ministry. At times it can be hard. Being 24 and quite the busy body, I still feel like I could be in college living off of Taco Bell burritos. I think that Satan tries to attack women that stay home with their babies as equally as he attacks working moms. When you stay home, he tries to feed your mind with insecurity... that you are not worth much and that being home is not a real job. And when you work, he creeps in to feed you lies that you are a bad mother and then may list the reasons to plant insecurity in your heart. Hear this you beautiful godly woman, no matter if you are a mom at home or a mom at work, you are loved and important and valuable. The other night I went to bed thinking, "I feel so small!" I immediately told Satan to get lost or I would shove a baseball bat in an unpleasant area. I realized that I was letting the lies get to me and that I had to guard my heart and my mind from that destructive mentality.
Esther... was just a small Jewish orphan girl who God chose to raise up and make Queen of Persia. She aided in the deliverance of the Jewish people. She knew that if she went to the king unsummoned and begged for her life and the life of her people, that one she would be exposing herself for her she really was and two that she could be killed. She obeyed the small task that was given to her and ended up saving all of God's chosen people. One small task, one great reward.
"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14
Take your task, as small as it may be today, and curl your little toes around it. Waddle-walk if you need to! I won't judge :)
Here is my reward for being obedient in carting my child off to church...
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| Selah Grace's first Sunday School artwork |
You are loved,
Terra XOXO
2 comments:
Terra,
You truly spoke to my heart with this post. You could not be more right! Thank you for sharing from your heart and filling mine this morning! And, since I haven't spoken to you since hearing the news, CONGRATS on your expected blessing :)
Best!
Carli Patton
Hey Terra, this is Erica (Nolan's mom) and I stumbled on your blog while checking out your photography blog. I can't tell you how many times I've had these same thoughts. Some days, I feel like I'm really where God wants me and truly glorifying God in all I do. And then, there will be days that I feel like I'm not enough...like I can't give/do/provide it all and I worry that maybe my motivations are selfish. It's nice to see I'm not the only one. And I definitely agree, I think SAHM are especially under attack. We should only worry if there's no longer an attack, because that means we've been conquered. As long as there is a battle, it means we are on the right path. :)
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