Monday, March 28, 2011

R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Find out what it means to me!

Respect -To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed.

I've been noticing an alarming trend these days.  Wives are not respecting their husbands.  Why is that?  Do we feel as women that we have to prove ourselves as rulers and decision makers of the home?  Do we have  sense of pride that we are the glue that keeps a household running and that are husbands are nothing but dumb creatures that just bring home the money? Or is it that you feel like your Husband's actions do not deserve respect?
That may sound harsh... but that is exactly what the families in our country are saying with their actions. 
Sadly, I have had a couple of friends that will talk down to their husbands behind their back and even to their face whether they "deserve" it or not.  Completely emasculating their spouse to make them feel like they are not good for anything but to do what they are asked to do. 
Wives - Do you respect your spouse?  Do you respect him as the leader of your household?  And do not get me wrong.. this has nothing to do with who is in control or not.  I really feel that when God brings two people together in marriage that you become one in the flesh.  That you equally share the responsibilities in your marriage.  God very clearly states that Wives should submit to their Husband and that Husbands should love and lift their wife up in adoration.  Equal in their respect and love for each other.  (Colossians 3:18-19) (Genesis 2:24) 
But in this post I want to ask all you women out there and see if you really respect your Husband.  Let's just focus on that.  I can't control how much Andrew respects me but I can love and respect him and pray that he will treat me as God intended him to treat me.  I have found that my attitude toward Andrew will often directly impact his attitude toward me.  Even if your Husband does not act in a way that deserves respect and love, it is our job as the wives God created us to respect and love them none the less.  I'm sure that there are woman out there that find it a daily battle to respect their Husband for the way that they act.  Whether your Husband is a believer or an unbeliever it can be just as difficult to treat them with respect.  It's a whole lot easier to respect and love someone that deserves it and is pleasant to be around.  Can I get an AMEN?
Here is a personal example of my sometimes lack of respect for my Husband in our marriage...
I have always had a strong-willed personality.  Sometimes I tend to try and stand on my own in our marriage.  I have even tried to pull the whole.. "I am ALWAYS right attitude..."  in our little tiffs at home.  You know, I don't like when he does that to me so why should I think that he likes it when I do it to him?  It doesn't work.. it just makes the other person bitter and more convinced that you are wrong.
The other day, Andrew asked me to PLEASE do something.. something little.  I told him I would get to it and then proceeded to go on with my plan for the day.  When he got home from work, I had not done what he had asked me to do.   I noticed that he noticed but he didn't say anything.  In my mind what he was asking me to do was not that important and really insignificant.  But in his mind, it was important and the fact that I ignored him and went on with my plan was very disrespectful.  A few weeks went by and it happened again.  I was super busy with lots of things (as new moms are) and I ignored him again... in my mind putting off this small task for a later date. 
Eventually, it got to him.  He made a comment that hurt my feelings about it and he asked me why I was offended.  I simply replied, "Well...Why are YOU mad at ME?"  He told me that he felt I was being disrespectful.  WHAT??  I cook and I clean.. I take care of Selah, work, yada, yada, yada, yada.  "But Terra, you couldn't stop and take the time to do that simple thing that I asked you to do." Total dagger to the heart.  I had disrespected him.  I had put myself over him in which caused a level of distrust in our marriage and I had done it on-purpose.
From that day on, I try and respect Andrew how I would want him to respect me.  I am SO not perfect and battle the feeling to do what I want first.  Having a meek and mild - always willing to do what you ask- attitude does not come naturally to me. 
There are several TV shows on right now that have very strong-willed wives that make their husbands look like idiots.  It's sad to me. Often, when a Husband is respected and loved he then respects and loves his wife 10 times more.  I have seen it time and time again.  I have some good friends, Chris and Dawn, that absolutely love and adore each other.  Dawn's goal in life is to respect, love and serve her husband.  I cannot tell you how many times I have heard Chris get all mushy gushy over Dawn.  He is crazy about her.  She makes him feel like a man.  And I have also seen a Wife love and respect her Husband without fail and he still treats her like scum.  She will one day be rewarded by God and that Husband will suffer consequences for how he treated his wife. 
God designed marriage to be this way... For Wives and Husbands to respect each other.  And when it is done effectivly, Men and Women find themselves in happy and blessed marriages. 
Proverbs 12:4 - "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

1 Peter 3:1 - "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives"

Whatever your situation, respect your Husband.  God will not look past your efforts even if your Husband may.  Obedience will always result in reward.
I think you're awesome! 

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